I am 21. I am a homeowner. I am a student. I do not earn enough money to support myself. I make things everyday. I believe in honesty and kindness and hard work and magic. Sometimes I don't believe I will ever get rid of this illness. I believe in positive thinking and powerful suggestion. I have trouble sleeping. I take six different types of pills every morning. I like texts/emails/tweets that have no other purpose than to say 'I'm thinking about you'. I feel connected to so many of you through Instagram and Twitter- I check them everyday. I don't take as many film photos as I used to. But I do shoot HD video. My notebooks are messy. I like rainy days and duvets and film or audiobook marathons. I read William Morris. I enjoy, wholeheartedly, spending an entire day in a museum/exhibition on my own, drawing and studying. I frequent my college library. I have passed 2nd year and I am happy with my marks. I wear glasses everyday and I am a cat mum. Sometimes I wear my hair wavy and sometimes I wear it straight. It is often braided. Sometimes I hide my feelings from people. Sometimes they come spilling out. I am not a strategic person. I smile at people on the bus. I never listen to music while travelling around London. I prefer to listen to the sounds of life and people and traffic. Sometimes I want to escape it all. Most of the time I remind myself that I live in a destination that people travel around the world to see, and I could live here one hundred years and never understand it all. I enjoy learning about the history of the streets we walk on. I believe that if you are bored, then you are boring. All of my friends are supportive and I love them. Really love them. I like it when Sam is with me at the end of the day and he speaks or sings or just lays next to me. And sometimes we talk about meaningful things and sometimes we joke about sex and sometimes we are silent. My Dad still does my accounts. My Mum still does my washing. Being a grown-up scares me, but sometimes I feel a million years old. I like art and design that has meaning behind it. Sometimes I dream about moving away and owning a few sheep and a llama. Sometimes I dream about having a storefront on Carnaby Street. Sometimes I write letters and post them. Sometimes I send e-mails to people I miss. Most of the time I have to remind myself that I can't do everything. I do not eat much Gluten anymore. It makes me swell up. I often have a sore throat and my feet ache. I often have a smile on my face, until it is crinkled and squished and I feel ridiculous. I hope my face is beautiful and wrinkled when I am old. I laugh a little too loud. I often feel a little too big. I can walk to the co-op and back now, and I usually buy chocolate milk. Sometimes I sing in the shower. Sometimes I sing to my best friends. I don't sing very well but I like doing it. I miss the times when I could rely on my art journal to sort my head out. I am still figuring it all out and I want to make the world a better place.