This is not really an outfit post- I mean, it is. It is me, in an outfit... but mainly this is to mark a little milestone.
One of the things that gets me down the most about my illness is how I have to be awkward about transportation when I'm out with friends. I always have to ask too many questions and plan my day out the night before and always always have a back-up plan if I find myself unable to walk or carry on. In London, it's very easy to hop on a bus pretty much anywhere- but I find even the walks between bus stops to be too much for me sometimes. And most people don't understand that, you see. To most people walking 5 or 6 bus stops is no big deal, a 10 min fast-paced brisk walk. To me, walking 5 bus stops feels me with the most horrible dread. Like, casually climbing up Everest or running a marathon. It literally pains me when people say 'oh, it's just a five minute walk'... because I know- to me that means I'll be aching and fatigued and unable to enjoy whatever is waiting for us at the other end. I just... It's just a physical limit that really gets me. And the look on people's faces sometimes when I ask 'oh- could we just get a bus?'. If they have no idea- the looks I get are full of reproach as if to say 'How LAZY are YOU!'. It kills me a little bit inside.
Most of the time to overcome this, I say to people that I will meet them there. My nearest and dearest friends know better and often offer to accompany me- which is the best. <3
But it's something that (I feel) can ruin the mood of an entire day if I let it. I've been keen to get better and sort this out- but it's not really that easy. There is something called 'Graded Exercise' which is basically building up what your body can take gradually over time. To most people what I'm about to say is going to sound really small and ridiculous- but it's pretty big for me, and I want to be honest so here we go...
I can now walk to the Co-Op and back.
The distance between the Co-Op and my house is approx 1.5 bus stops each way. That's a total of 3 bus stops. This time 2 years ago, if I needed milk, I would go to my corner shop which is about a 1/4 of a bus stop from my house.
That means that on an average day, when I'm working from home (and not doing any other major energy-sucking activity) I can walk a total of 3 bus stops and not be totally comatose for the rest of the day. BIG NEWS. :] Obviously I'm still tired afterward, and I need to have a lie down (like I would do with any other activity) but it's definite improvement.
So- yeah. YAY! For small steps. This is a picture of me on a pretty average work-from-home day. My big jumper was found on ebay- it's knitted and it's William Morris, and pretty perfect for the 'summer' weather we've been having here. haha.
p.s. Just to clarify- this means that over and above my usual amount of activity, I am able to do a bit more than I could 2 years ago. On good days I can be a tour guide for half a day and on bad days, even the thought of leaving the bed makes me feel sick. But on an average, run-of-the-mill day, this means I can treat myself to some Chocolate Milk! Which, y'know, is all any girl really wants. :]